SOUP OF THE DEAD
Torture-tilla Soup—Excruciatingly slow cooked.
Beef Barf-ley—Always better the second time.
Vicioussoise—Cold, cruel and heartless.
Borscht—Yes just borscht, horrible!
Menure-do—Smells like shit, tastes like shit,
glad I didn't step in it.
Al-bomb-digas—Exploding meatballs in napalm.
SAD SALADS
Seizure Salad—Just like grand maul used to make.
Wal-Dwarf Salad—We tossed in a dwarf.
Spin-itch Salad—Spinach and fresh baby poison ivy.
Anti-Christ-O Salad—deviled eggs and mortal-della.
Coal Slawter—With burning coals.
GROSS ENTREES
Beef Swellington—Swollen black anguish beef.
Chicken Tetrachloride—Lean, mean solvent-soaked.
Kung Fu Chicken—You kill my teacher, WHY? WHY?
Carnage Asada—Bloody marinated steak.
Beef Never Loins—So it’s gotta loin the hard way.
Rodney King Duck—Can’t we all just get a leg?
Wreck of Lamb—Treated worse than veal.
Ratatat-KaBLOOEEY—A semi-automatic favorite.
Mobster Tail—It sleeps with fishes.
Arroz Con Polio—It's cripple-icious!
HOMA-SIDE DISHES
Rigor-Mortoni—It’s pasta way.
Potatos Augh! Rotten!—But it’s still bad.
Torture-lini Al Pest Control—made with Raid.
Fried Calamity-mari—Battered and fried rubbery.
Assaulted Peanuts—De-virginia-nized peanuts.
RISE AND SHINERS
Decapitated Coffee—A no-brainer you won't be up.
Lo Cal Egg Beaters—When you’re on a die-et.
Eggs Bent Dick—Ouch! That's gotta hurt.
Incontinental Breakfast—Urine luck.
Cold Cereal Killer—Killoggs, Genocide Mills, Postal.
Agent Orange Juice—With bloody pulp.
LUNCH WITH A PUNCH
Feel-Awful Sandwich—We won't have ta-bully you.
Chopped Off Liver—It was about to go anyway.
Destitute-Boy Sandwich—Worse than a poorboy.
Billy Club Sandwich—Nobody beats ours.
Nuclear Submarine Sandwich—Dive! Dive!
Past-Trauma Sandwich—You'll need therapy.
STRESSED DESSERTS
Pineapple Upside-Yo-Head Cake
Terror-Me-Sue—Rum for your lives!
Tres Leeches—This dessert sucks.
Pain De Choke-a-Lot—Great with the Heimlich.
Napalmier—Served scalding hot.
Date Rape Loaf—You know her so it's easier.
Rhubarb-Wire Pie—You can’t escape.
Apple-Schrapnel—with grenade-ine.
Stab-aglione—so thick you'll need a knife.
Sponsored by...
Maalox
Alka-Seltzer
Rolaids
Tums
Pepsid AC
Pepto-Bismol
Mylanta
By numbsain...the next Wolgang Phuck
