Top ten things a woman doesn't want to hear after first date sex

10. Well that was nice. Now if you'll excuse me I have other orders to fill tonight.

9. There ya go! That oughta hold ya for a while. I'm outta here but if that thing gives you anymore trouble you got my number.

8. Cut! Okay that's a wrap. Not bad babe. Couple of minor things but we can fix it in editing.

7. Ya hear that Trish? That's what it sounds like when I make love to a real woman. If you behave maybe I'll let you outta the closet to watch next time.


6. You better get dressed I think I heard Molly pull up on her Harley. Haha you do NOT want her to catch you in here with me. Tie those sheets together and you can exit out the window. HURRY!

5. I guess I'm gay.

4. So whudja think? Worth the three hundred bucks? Oh I forgot to mention that? It's okay, I'll take a check but I'll need two forms of ID.

3. Wow, sex hasn't been this good since mom!

2. [jiggle jiggle, KNOCK KNOCK!] Honey? I got off work early. Why is our bedroom door locked.

1. Incredible! I didn't think it was possible, you've restored my faith in women. I have to tell you I've had a really bad run and I was really feeling bitter toward women in general. And if the truth be known the only reason I went out with you was to get revenge. And that's really what I was gonna do with you but after that I don't feel that way anymore. You were so loving and honest and you really felt like you cared. It was just so beautiful making love to you. I can't believe I was gonna go through with...OH SHIT! Open your legs and push! Has it been fifteen minutes? Shit! fourteen minutes thirty seconds! PUSH DAMMIT! We've got to get that thing out of you! 10 seconds! It's too late, I can't reach it. Well there's no sense in both of us getting blown to smithereens. I'm really sorry babe! but I gotta go. [SLAM]