The Fundamental Laws that Govern Yo Ass

The Law of Stupid Laws
If Murphy’s Law can go wrong, it won’t. So you’re still stuck with Murphy’s Law.

The 1st Law of Exxon
What goes up must come down, except gas prices.

The Law of Visa
for every action there is an equal and opposite charge on your account.

The 1st Law of Indigestion
What goes around gives you diarrhea.

The Law of Resentment
No good deed goes un-guilt-tripped.

The Law of Kleptomania
Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, objects at rest tend to be stolen.

The 2nd Law of Futility
When an irrepressible force meets an irresistible object, somebody ends up crying.

The 3rd Law of Desert Physics
The relationship between an object's mass (m), its acceleration (a), and the applied force (F) is only legal in the state of Nevada.

The 2nd Law of Thermo-Finance
Energy can be changed from one form to another, but it will take up to 3 to 5 business days.
The Law of Inbreeding
Nothing can be the cause of its own existence, except in Tenessee where a man can be his own father.

The Law of Junk Food
E=McNuggets.

The Law of Shopping
You can’t get something for nothing, but at Ross’s weekend blowout sale, you can get name brands for next to nothing, this weekend only…at Ross!

The Law of Averages
50% of the people in the world are below average in intelligence.

The Law of Heresay
I think therefor I am not dead.

The Law of Masculinity (or lack thereof)
Size doesn’t matter, unless you’re talking about a guy with a really small penis because that poor bastard will never satisfy a women.

by Prof. Numbsain PhD, LsD, Xtc, pCp, NO2, THc