Yo Mama Jokes "Readers" Hall of Fame 2012

Welcome to the
“First Annual Numbsain’s Unwind Yo Mama Jokes 2012 Readers Hall of Fame”
Where YOU write the jokes and I laugh! We’ve got some good ones here from folks all over the world, and some I suspect from other planets. But we all have one thing in common, we love insulting yo mama. Of course we don’t really hate mamas because, after all without mamas we’d have no one to spit on a tissue and wipe our faces with it when it’s dirty. But since nobody’s mama would ever read this blog, who better to pick on? so without further ado...


reedykurtis12721 gave us these two:

Yo mama is so stupid she got locked in walmart and starved.
yo mama is so stupid she brought a spoon to the superbowl.

Thank you reedy!

 
TROPICAL NEON shouted:

YO MAMA IS SOOOO FAT WE NEEDED A COMPASS TO FIND HER BUTTHOLE NAH NOT EVEN YO MAMA IS SOOO FAT WEN SHE WENT TO DA BEACH ALL THE WHALES STARED TO SING WE R FAMILY EVEN THOUGH U FATTA DEN ME DATS A JOKE.

Well he didn’t have to yell and he should learn about periods but we love him anyway cause he’s funny. thank you TROPICAL NEON! Oh by the way, trop, just curious, but why were you trying to find my mama’s butthole?



gregr brang us this one:

yo mama teeth is so yellow, cars slow down.
Thank you gregr, except for one thing. My mama ain’t got no teeth.



donneia had this to say:

yo mama lips so big when she wanted to kiss her bf she swalled his head O_O
Hey, donneia, you DO know my mama! Hahahahaha he deserved it. (Doesn’t donneia look pretty with those big eyes of hers? She should smile more though.)



Yo momma herself wrote in and said:

yo mamma so fat when she jumped in the air she got stuck.

Well she should know. Thank you uh, mom.



Conrad was really pushin’ his luck when he said:

Yo Momma so stupid she bookmarked this website.

hmf! I think she was smart.



Angelonfire sent in this original joke:

yo mama so fat when i was sitting on the end of the couch she sat on the other edge she made me go fly across the room.

Good one, Angel. You ARE on fire!



ddawesumness wrote in and said:

yo mama so old wen i asked her 4 her id she gave me a rock.
Thank you dd, that was one of my favorites.



trey jhonson offered this gem:

yo mama is so stupid she shoved a phone up her ass and thought she was makin' a booty call.

Excellent! Thank you trey.



regina wrote in and had the nerve to say:

these are the stupidest jokes there not a bit funny
heres a real joke .........
yo mama so old when god said let there be light she was there to hit the switch!!!!!!!!
now thats hilarious mmmm bahhhahahahahahahahah .........shaking my head!!!!!!!!!

Hmk!…No I’m not laughing cause I’m mad at regina. Not just because she said my jokes weren’t funny but also she uses too many exclamation marks! Save some for the rest of us, girl!...Hmk!...Hah…hahaHAHAHA! But she cracks me up! Bahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!! Oops!



random comes in all slick and says:

yo mamas so fat when she went on her scale her phone number came up!
now thats a joke.

Oh it is is it? Good thing, random, cause my mama ain’t that fat!



Tannerb wrote in and shared these two original jokes which he wrote himself. A lot of people try to steal his jokes but that’s just cause they ain’t no tannerb. He says:

yo mamma so old when moses parted the red sea she was on the other side fishin' and heres another yo mama so old when she was born the dead sea just started gettin sick.

Hahaha I love that one. Nice work tannerb, you the shizzizzney!



And then we have this lovely offering from little sam:

any one who posts on this site likes to suk my dik.
yo mama a bi**h

Aawww isn’t that sweet? Little sam, couldn’t be more the 3 foot nothin and he took his pacifier out of his mouth just to say those kind words. Thank you sammy-poo!



emily came on and sent us this classic:

yo mamas teeth is so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles.
Thanks Em, I like they way you told that one.



This one is from john:

yo mamas so nasty when i asked her whats for dinner she opened her legs and said crabs.

You so nasty. I bet when john goes to McDonalds he orders the Big 'N' Nasty.



Frankster 28 comes in and lays four good ones on us in a row just like that Bam!  Bam! Bam! Bam!:

Yo mama so fat that her blood type is rockyrode
Yo mama so stupid she got hit by a parked car
Yo mama so short she hand glides on Doritos chips
Yo mama is like a vacume cleaner she blows, she sucks and gets laid in the closet
Woah! Thank you Frankster28!



And thank all of you for reading my blog and sharing your funny-ass yo mama jokes with us. I can’t pick a winner out of everyone because all y'all are winners. Every last one of you. even my little buddy sam. (Aw isn’t he cute? When he was a baby his first words were, “Ah go f*ck yerself, beeyotch!” I’ll bet he can name any brand of soap just by the taste.) You all should write blogs of your own and make up all your own jokes and show the world just how funny you are. And when you do send me a link and I’ll come and comment on YOUR blog.


By the readers of numbsain's unwind...who will one day take over my blog and maybe make it worth reading!

Yo Mama's So Stupid she's at a loss for words

This has nothing to do with yo mama jokes but...
Damn that's the biggest yeti I ever saw!

This time yo mama's only one thing: STUPID as an Alka-seltzer umbrella.

Yo mama’s so stupid she couldn’t make scrambled eggs because she kept getting them mixed up.

Yo mama’s so stupid she thinks she has two vaginas but one went bad.

Yo mama’s so stupid when you were 14, and girl crazy, she hired a 16 y.o. girl to babysit you.

Yo mama’s so stupid she threw away your Magic Crystal Growing Kit cause she thought it was a meth lab.

Yo mama’s so stupid she found some white powder in your sock drawer and accused you of stealing sugar from the kitchen.

Yo mama’s so stupid you came home to find the dog on the couch with the remote watching "All My Puppies" and yo mama tied up in the back yard.

Yo mama’s so stupid she said if you don’t finish all your dessert you don’t get to do your homework.

Yo mama’s so stupid she made you boys wear hand me downs…from your big sister.

Yo mama’s so stupid she told you don’t kiss a boy on the first date…So you thought everything else was okay.

Yo mama’s so stupid she serves a continental breakfast for the roach motel.

Yo mama’s so stupid when she saw a charge on your daddy’s credit card for “escort service” she said, “What was wrong with the car, honey?”

Yo mama’s so stupid yo daddy brings her flowers on April Fools Day.

Yo mama’s so stupid when the bank asked for her maiden name she said Maiden Hong Kong.

Yo mama’s so stupid when you asked for Chinese food for dinner, she made Sick & Soggy Pork.

Yo mama's so stupid she believes in the Santa Bunny.

Yo mama's so stupid she's just now learning to say "mama."

Yo mama's so stupid when she gets a headache it's only cosmetic.

Yo mama’s so stupidly dyslexic she prays to the Dog every night.

Yo mama’s so stupid when she ran over a cat, she ran it over 8 more times so it wouldn’t suffer.

Yo mama’s so stupid you needed an excuse for being late with your homework so yo mama ate it.

Yo mama’s so stupid when the dog had puppies she got mad at yo daddy cause they looked like him.

Yo mama’s so stupid when you asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich she started looking for the recipe.

Yo mama’s so stupid that when yo daddy said he was bringing two Brazillian friends over for dinner she said “Oh my god, how many is a brazillion!”

Yo mama’s so stupid that when her therapist asked her “tell me about your mother.” She said, “Ask her your damn self this is my therapy!”

Yo mama's so stupid she bit her tongue, then asked for seconds. 

Yo mama’s so stupid when the doctor asked her when was her last period she said, “Oh I’m not in school anymore, doctor.”

Yo mama’s so stupid when the doctor asked her, “Have you had migraines?” she batted her eyelashes and said, “Are you inviting me over for breakfast, doctor?”

Yo mama’s so stupid when the doctor asked her, “Any hot flashes” she blushed and said, “Well, my top fell of in the pool once.”

Yo mama’s so stupid she makes Sarah Palin look sma-…No wait, that’s impossible. Nobody’s that stupid.



All original yo mama jokes by Numbsain, the worlds leading authority on maternal belittlement.