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ALASKA—The only state where you can get raped by a polar bear, and hallucinate Russia from your back yard.
ARIZONA—The only state in the continental U.S. that didn’t mind being next to Nevada.
ARKANSAS—Has considerably more then ten times as many fingers as it has people.
CALIFORNIA—The only state where cats and dogs "friend" each other on facebook, and have a legal right to vote.
COLORADO—The only state with toxic levels of pure clean air. Colorado’s state flower is a rock.
CONNECTICUT—This states name contains a contradiction of continuity, and is also the birthplace of the fart.
DELAWARE—Boasts being the “most humble” state and has claimed bragging rights to that distinction for over 200 years.
FLORIDA—A man is 4 times more likely to die choking on his own penis in Florida than in any of the other states.
GEORGIA—Home of the date rape drug, no one person in Georgia has ever had a mutual orgasm
HAWAII—The only state surrounded by a moat, half the people in Hawaii are below the average intelligence for the state of Hawaii
IDAHO—It is twelve times as likely for a man to hire a prostitute and have it end up being his wife in Idaho than any other state.
ILLINOIS—Consumes more internet porn than the rest of the country put together.
INDIANA—A virtual crock pot mecca, Indiana is the slow-cookin’-est state.
IOWA—More fatal gunfights between two-year-olds occur in Iowa.
KANSAS—Is the only state where little scruffy dogs care whether they are there or not.
KENTUCKY—More CO2 canisters are mistaken for suppositories in this state.
LOUISIANA—Often called the “State of Affairs, more people cheat in Baton Rouge (which means redness from being hit with a stick) than in any other city.
MAINE—The only state in the union that’s spelled wrong
MARYLAND—Everyone living in this state is a CPA. And all are unemployed.
MASSACHUSETTS—The first blow job given to a Turkish quadripalegic in front of a classroom full of Belgian foreign exchange students during a hurricane took place here.
MICHIGAN—All the streets in the state’s capitol city are named after a bodily function.
MINNESOTA—Most people in Minnesota have accidentally sodomized their grandparents.
MISSISSIPPI—The Sippy-Cup was invented here. But it was meant for uncoordinated adults.
MISSOURI—The only state with the word “sour” in the name.
MONTANA—The only state that tries to be like a lot of other states by ending in “A.”
NEBRASKA—Often called “the anti-panty state,” more women “go commando” in this state than in any other.
NEVADA—The first state to legalize stupidity, a pastime now practiced openly in all other states.
NEW HAMPSHIRE—The worst of the “New” states, they even spelled “hamster” wrong.
NEW JERSEY—Has the most people who wish they were dead.
NEW MEXICO—Famous for not having cheap hookers, at least none I was able to find.
NEW YORK—The only state where people will give you the finger and good advice in the same breath.
NORTH CAROLINA—The only paired “North” state that’s no better than it’s southern counterpart.
NORTH DAKOTA—The state where impatient finger tapping was first observed.
OHIO—The only state name that, when read backwards, sounds like a rabbi reprimanding a prostitute.
OKLAHOMA—The only state of the union where the word “voluptuous” is used inappropriately to describe everything from food to TV reception.
OREGON—The only state in which everyone secretly thinks they are better than everyone else in the country.
PENNSYLVANIA—The only state that wasn’t afraid of sounding too much like “Transylvania”.
RHODE ISLAND—The state with the unnecessary “H.”
SOUTH CAROLINA—The only state with no distinguishing characteristics.
SOUTH DAKOTA—The only state where men simply tell their wives, “Take off your panties,” as a prelude to hanky-panky.
TENNESSEE—The state that thinks it’s cool but is so not.
TEXAS—The only state where sexual perversion is considered prestigious, STD’s collateral damage.
UTAH—The state that never evolved, cult religions are the norm and bigamy is encouraged.
VERMONT—This state has such a sweet tooth they squeeze sugar right out of the trees.
VIRGINIA—Birthplace of the contemptuous sneer.
WASHINGTON—The only state that shares it’s name with a city, a president, and a lot of black folks.
WASHINGTON D.C.—Is the only place that’s not a state yet somehow got on this list.
WEST VIRGINIA—The only state in which laughing is a crime and brain activity is optional.
WISCONSIN—Is really Canada.
WYOMING—Is the only state whose name questions transcendental meditators.
By numbsain...constantly in a state of confusion.