Wednesday, April 25, 2012


What does this have to do with anything? You'll see if you read on.

10. Backwash, Idaho
Population 400. The town's main attraction is the Backwash Dog Museum which delights enthusiasts with over 12 breeds of domesticated canine taxidermed pretty well by the curator himself, still there's an odor that keeps the locals from paying the $1.00 admission despite their extreme boredom. Out-of-towners wishing to get their money's worth usually last about a minute before they bolt for the door gasping for fresh air.

9. Discomfort, Michigan
Founded in 1834, According to the elders the town was named Discomfort due to a preponderance of nosebot flys which would lay their eggs in a person's nasopharynx while they were sleeping. As the maggot grew to 2 inches in length and devoured the host's brain it was said to cause some discomfort, hence the name. Population 0 as of 1835.

8. Ugly Old Biddy, Wisconsin
Founded by a farmer with 12 beautiful daughters who were oversexed and allergic to any type of apparel. Obviously the old man wanted them all to himself. The town is now inhabited by aged inbred retarded women who ate all the men, and for whom the town is now aptly named. 

7. Gotapee Springs, Missouri
There are no natural springs in Gotapee, nor are their any toilets due to a porcelain shortage. Just the Anheuser Busch brewery and a lot of drunken factory employees.
We have no idea where this is but we found this picture in an old shoebox.
6. Broken Penis, Arkansas
Named after the towns mayor, chief of police, fire marshal, general store owner and only resident. Legend has it Mayor Percival-Bob Meaterson broke his penis in a fucking accident back when it was a population of 2, the second resident being a tree stump named Sally.

5. Skidmark, Mississippi
A town so small that motorists driving through looking for a restroom shit their tighty-whiteys when they discover none to be found, nor even a tree to squat behind for privacy. But when they see the pile of soiled underwear at the far end of this roadside blight with a population of 13 (according to the sign, though no one's ever seen them), they add theirs to the heap.

4. Catspanking, Wyoming
Population 4,825. The town is situated atop an ancient burial ground used by the Pawnee Tribe whose spirits think it's hilarious to possess the bodies of all the stray cats in the burg and make them act real naughty (hence the name Catspanking).
The local sheriff at one time tried to pass a law prohibiting the striking of felines, but the townsfolk, having become quite fond of this disciplinary method, wouldn't hear of it and  to this day the town's motto is, "Spank 'em if you catch 'em."

3.  Bubblecud Nebraska
A poorly tested soil enhancement once used in this farming town gave the grasses an elastic quality which when chewed by the 2000 some odd head of cattle allows them to blow their cud into fairly impressive sized bubbles. They no longer hold the annual Cud-Bubble Competition because of a few cheaters who walked away with the trophy every year ruining the fun for the rest of them.
Christmas time in Frankfurter Plunge. Here two residents find the weather
just perfect for a good old fashioned western drawing match.
2. Frankfurter Plunge, Texas
They say everything is bigger in Texas. That doesn't apply to the un-google-mappable town of Frankfurter Plunge whose population barely reaches 2 digits during tourist season. With an average temperature of 118 F throughout most of the year locals claim it's the perfect climate in which to die.

1. Wobbly Pecker, Tennessee

Population 43,000. A richly landscaped and architecturally cutting-edge tourist mecca, with lavish high-rise 5-star hotels, sprawling public parks, sparkling fountains lining opulent 6-lane city thoroughfares with shopping centers of great abundance and glitz was planned for this town, but none of it came to fruition, some say due to the dubious name choice.

Bullshit artists conception of some bullshit he made up.

By numbsain...he was born in a town called "Yechh."