Saturday, April 7, 2012

Yo Mama's So...Somethin'

yo mama tripped and fell while crossing the street

 Yo mama’s so fat Ben & Jerry have their own parking spaces in front of the house.

Yo mama’s so stupid when she went to get acupuncture she asked for a shot of novacaine first.

Yo mama’s so fat yo daddy smacks her ass before he goes to work and when he comes home it’s still jiggling.

yo mama’s so old she has dinosaur DNA trapped in her boogers.

Yo mama’s so old when she crosses the street she's afraid of being hit by a horse and buggy.

Yo mama’s so fat her favorite continental breakfast is Africa.

Yo mama’s so old she tells senior citizens, “When I was your age I had respect for my Australopithecus."

Yo mama’s so old she tells you not to track the earths partially cooled crust into the house.

Yo mama’s so old she put her money in the first national bank.

Yo mama’s so old she once yelled at a guy for dragging a wooden cross through her rose bushes. Then she made him wear the ones he ruined on his head.

Yo mama’s so stupid when a clerk tried to sell her pants made of corduroy she asked who the other three quarters were.
Don't ask...I have no idea.

Yo mama’s so fat she went to Weight Watchers, they sent her to Whale Watchers.

Yo mama’s so fat there are wise men living in her hair.

Yo mama’s so big she has a snow cap.

Yo mama’s so fat that when she got crabs they had to tent her.

Yo mama’s so fat when she played goalie on the soccer team she never had to move.

Yo mama’s so stupid she thinks the Flinstones is a reality TV show.

Yo mama’s so fat when she went to get a tramp stamp they sent her to a muralist.

Yo mama’s so fat she went to a restaurant alone and the maitre ‘d said “party of five?”

Yo mama’s so fat you need binoculars to read over her shoulder.

Yo mama’s so fat she wins at twister every time on the first spin.

Yo mama’s so old archeologists are already trying to study her.

Yo mama’s so old she complains that the universe just isn’t expanding they way it used to.

Yo mama’s so stupid she saw a bear in the woods and told you to watch where you step.

What? Well she is! Don't lie. C'mon yo mama ain't in the best of shape, she ain't exactly fine, and she forgets to breathe sometimes so we're not talking genetic perfection here, get over it. If you don't like me talking about yo mama, leave a comment and tell me about my mama. C'mon bring it on.

By numbsain...He's a mother too. In fact he's his own mother. Now that was a difficult delivery!

Don't forget to take a gander at our many other yo mama jokes:

http://numbsain.blogspot.com/2011/11/yo-mama-jokes-2012.html

http://numbsain.blogspot.com/2012/02/yo-mamas-so-stupid-shes-at-loss-for.html

http://numbsain.blogspot.com/2012/01/numbsain-lets-fly-on-yo-mamaagain.html

http://numbsain.blogspot.com/2011/12/yo-mamas-are-so-phat.html

http://numbsain.blogspot.com/2011/12/yo-mama-2012-part-2-yo-mamas-had-it-now.html

http://numbsain.blogspot.com/2011/10/yo-momma-jokesso-stupid-even-yo-momma.htm