Yo mama’s so skinny if you rub up against her you’ll get a paper cut.
Yo mama’s so skinny she can floss with her finger.
Yo mama’s so skinny when she wears red she looks like a twizzler.
Yo mama’s so skinny her necklace keeps tripping her.
Yo mama’s so skinny we can tell if she ate…and what she ate…and how long ago she ate.
Yo mama’s so skinny when her hair turned white people thought she was a Q-tip.
Yo mama’s so skinny when she was pregnant with you we could tell you were gonna be ugly.
Yo mama’s so stupid she told a Native American if he doesn’t like this country then go back where he came from.
Yo mama’a such a prude she won’t tease her hair cause it might get ideas.
Yo mama’s so fat her pimp calls himself Cost-ho.
Yo mama’s so fat when she moons people it’s in I-Max.
Yo mama’s so fat she’s a roll model.
Yo mama’s so fat when she farts it takes a half-hour to come to the surface.
Yo mama’s so fat she tried to drive a Honda Fit but she couldn’t.
Yo mama’s so fat she tried to drive a Mini Cooper but it was too small for her maxi pooper.
Yo mama’s so fat when she checked her weight it said “Exceeds maximum payload please choose alternate route.”
Yo mama’s so fat she wore a red dress to a Mexican restaurant and the mariachis sang, “One Ton Tomato…”
Yo mama’s so fat she can drive in the carpool lane by herself.
Yo mama’s so fat she tried the slip-n-slide and took out the neighbors house.
Yo mama’s so fat she went to IHOP for all-you-can-eat pancakes and brought her overnight bag…and she still hasn’t left…that was two weeks ago!
Yo mama’s such a bad cook the dog puts a plastic bag over his paw to throw away the table scraps.
Yo mama’s so ugly a blind man bumped into her because his seeing eye dog couldn’t bear to describe her.
Yo mama’s so stupid when she was pregnant with you she got a letter addressed to current occupant so she saved it for you.
Yo mama’s so stupid when your daddy gave her a theater ticket she read, “Admit One” so she told him she cheated on him…with the dog.
Yo mama’s so stupid she never scratched the lottery ticket she bought cause she was afraid it might lose.
Yo mama’s so ugly when she looks at the clock she kills time.
Yo mama’s so fat the girl scouts wouldn’t sell her any more cookies.
Yo mama’s so fat when she goes to get Chinese take-out she brings a U-haul truck.
Yo mama’s so stupid she got tickets to see an opera show and then complained there were no guests, she sang the whole time and it didn’t even look like her.
Yo mama’s so ugly she wears a sign that says “CAUTION: HAZARDOUS FACE.”
Yo mama’s so fat she keeps losing her thong.
Yo Mama Nursery Rhymes
Jack and yo mama went up the hill
to fetch a pale of water,
Jack fell down and he was all right
but yo mama's so fat she rolled down and killed him.
Yo fat mama sat on a wall.
Yo fat mama had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men
couldn’t even lift her.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
yo mama could eat anything.
And so between the two of them
Jack Sprat starved to death.
Yo stupid mother
went to the cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone.
When she got there
the cupboard was bare
so she had the dog put to sleep.
By Numbsain...his mama is perfect!