in these modern times of political correctness bigotry is considered a sign of ignorance and although it does exist among rednecks, trailer trash, and hillbillies, most intelligent people know better than to stereotype others based on race, sex, income, or sexual orientation. Yet there are some about whom, due to accepted mythology or folklore, we have no problem making generalizations, if not out-and-out slurs.
Although, for the most part, individuals of diminutive stature are treated with the same respect as any other human being, still we accept childrens’ stories such as “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” which depict them in ridiculous costumes and as having demeaning, descriptive names like *Happy, Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezy, Doc and Bashful. And a little known fact is that around the time the story took place these were the names of, not individual dwarves, but of seven common dwarf breeds. To further Illustrate here’s a brief history of the dwarf.
Though Disney’s classic tale first brought the dwarf into the public eye, his septet were far from the only dwarves that existed during the period. There were indeed many other varieties of dwarf living and breeding in and around the Enchanted Forest State Wildlife and Dwarf Preserve in the late 1700's, the hayday of dwarf poaching.
Many were common wild dwarves not worthy of mention in the popular trade journal: "S. Whiteman's Dwarfing Monthly" one of the few accurate sighters guides for indiginous dwarvery. Among the most sought breeds was Musky: A rare and pungent dwarf coveted for its glands which were used in perfumes and snake oil recipes to add substance or "legs" to the potions. Other "aromatic" dwarves were Patchouly, Minty, Piquanté and Zesty.
|
| The porn star Bridget the Midget is descended from the badunkadunk dwarf breed |
Feeder dwarves included Fishy, Beefy, Porky, Turkey and Soy. These hearty, high protein dwarves were feasted on by nearly every carnivorous beast and plant in the little game region and during dwarf season their carcasses littered the ground in abundance providing a veritable smorgasbord for wildlife, as well as a rich soil enhancement teeming with dwarven nutrients.
Most coveted of all were the slave dwarves. Larger and more robust than the food dwarves, many were kept by rich widows and bachelors as bed wenches and manservants. Others were put to work in the fields harvesting tubors and low growth crops while the less intelligent genetically compromised retard dwarves, Ditzy, Drippy, Bimbo, Klutzy and Stupid were used as door matts, speed bumps, door stops, ottomans and even bath towels.
The largest, comliest of the dwarves; Studly, Busty, Badunkadunk, Big Schlong, Hanglow and Hips measured up to two and a half feet in length and were put to stud or used as breeding stock. These were the ancestors of the modern garden variety dwarves or "little people" who live and work among us in society today.
Myth debunked: Fidgets, Elves, Leprichauns and Mini Me are not actual dwarves and did not exist outside of folklore, Keebler products, breakfast cereals and hollywood.
*The happy of the original tale went by the name of Smiley Gladstone, The sleepy’s real name was Snorton Bedwetter, The dopey was a character fashioned after a dwarf named Foolbert Stumble, while the original grumpy used was known to what few friends he had as Gripely R. Scowler. The story's sneezy’s legal name was Hank Kerchief III, the doc dwarf, a pediatrician and general practitioner of medicine was listed in the local directory as Dr. Soren Healy M.D. and the bashful held the title of Sir M. Barrist Hyde. The young woman who inspired the character of Snow White was an indigent prostitute who went by the name of Gladys Schwartz before she died of advanced syphilis at the age of 27.
By Numbsain...an intellectual dwarf in the body of an emotional cripple.
