Isn't that just despicable? The day Chinese restaurants start advertising smut in fortune cookies is the day I stop looking online for smut advertisments. Fortune cookies are a tradition that dates back to when they first started making fortune cookies, and the wisdom found in these edible oracles has helped millions find the path to their true destinies. Well I suppose if it's your true destiny you can't exactly avoid it. But it's nice to have the reassurance along the way of a reliable, trusted authority...cookies. Especially ones that don't taste very good because you figure it's gotta have some purpose. Although that doesn't explain the little doily underneath dim sum that just gets all soggy and you can't tell if you're supposed to eat it or not until it's too late.
I hope you enjoyed these fortunes because I had to eat a lot of bad Chinese food to get them. One place was called "Human Restaurant" but there was a typo on the sign so it said "Hunan." I guess it's easy to mess up the translations. but it didn't taste like human at all, it tasted more like chicken. So I tried to get my money back but they said, "yu dam foo, wai yu so dum, wee noh hav hyu man, yu mus goh nao!" which I assume means, "Sorry no refunds."
By Numbsain...hee sum dum gai.
