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| Why is this guy is smiling. Maybe to cover up the fact that he made a terrible mistake back in the 70's and has been regretting it ever since. "Whatsamatter Larry, they turn you down for that loan officer job again?" |
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| So that's what's inside them. No wonder they can bleed for a week and not die. |
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| The black bar was added because we're not allowed to show fish lips. This gives a whole new meaning to the term, "Goldang she got a fish tattooed on 'er vajay-jay!" |
Since the invention of non-toxic subcutaneous inks humans have been permanently defacing their bodies for the purpose of beautifying themselves, displaying their individuality, or conveying a personal message to all who have the dubious honor of looking upon them. Since tattoos are nearly impossible to remove great care and foresight must be exercised in choosing the design and message, as well as the tattoo artist who will be rendering the work. A common mistake is assuming that one will be together with ones partner forever and having their portrait or name applied to one's body often resulting in spending the rest of ones life seeking partners with that particular name, or who are blind.
Other tattoo blunders seen all too often are misspellings which ensure the wearers blithering-idiot status for the rest of his/her life, or failure to provide for the possibility of finding oneself in a place in which having the words "Lick me where I shit" on ones forehead may not be appropriate, such as anywhere. In the tradition of the many morons who chose their life path at age 17 I've come up with some idiotic tattoo ideas of my own. Unfortunately decency prevents me for showing you examples of all of these ideas but the beauty of the written word is in it's allowing the reader to use his/her imagination.
10.What: An image of an ass.
Where: on someones elbow. (or the reverse, an elbow inked on an ass)
9.
What: The words “GOODYEAR BLIMP”
Where: On an erect penis which when flaccid reads “GOD YER LIMP”
8.
What: the words “FEMALES ONLY”
Where: Written sideways on the lower abs of a homophobe. the letters are inside an arrow pointing down to his manhood. Everything is fine until he turns 30 and starts to get a beer gut which will overhang the first two letters making it read “MALES ONLY” Which he may not even realize at first, not that he can do anything about it when he does.
7.
What: the phrase, "Does this tat make my ass look fat?"
Where: On someones ass. As long as the answer is "no" the joke is funny to all, but the sporter of this tat must watch those corndogs from now on lest she wind up being the brunt of her own joke.
6.
What: A Picture of ones own face smiling.
Where: on the back of ones shaved head so when the wearer is too mad to be cordial they can just turn around and walk away without offending anyone.
5.
What: The Nose Pick-o-Meter. An incremented scale with tick marks indicating what one might expect to find in the nostrils at various depths. Red indicates when you've gone too far.
Where: on the index finger
4.
What: A photorealistic highly-detailed bloody gash in the belly of a pregnant woman with a fetuses hand sticking out.
When: During pregnancy after which it will look really stupid but it will have been worth it for those 3 or 4 months when she was “showing.”
3.
What:The words, “Tramp Stamp” in the usual location of a tramp stamp, just above a girls ass, a tongue-in-cheekism by itself but the full effect is had by adding on the front just above her coochie, the words, “Damp Ramp.” Other variations could include, "Vamp Cramp," "Damp Clamp," Or your choice of the many synonyms for the female genitalia.
2.
What: A milk carton such as this Momstits Farms brand.
Where: On the breast of a lactating woman such as this lovely young milkmaid who could provide sustenance for a small village with her ginormous tatas.
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| Black censoring dots were used to prevent this image from being sexually suggestive. |
1.
What: The word: “CHEST.”
Where: On my mother.
By Numbsain...He cried when he got a henna tattoo.
