Awesome Acronyms Quiz

 How well do you know your Acronyms? FYI most people who MSM a lot will ace this test PDQ and, BTW, being ADD doesn’t mean you can’t finish it ASAP. So before you start shouting OMG, try it. You may be a VIP! LOL!

SPCA stands for
a. Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
b. Society for the Promotion of Cruelty to Animals
c. Spanking Place for Caged Animals
d. Society for Pet Cruelty Appreciation

FCC stands for
a. Freshly Chopped Caterpillars
b. Federal Communications Commission
c. Federal Cupcake Commission
d. Free Cocaine Club

SUV stands for
a. Sexy Underwear Violation
b. Stuck Up Virgin
c. Sudden Urge Vehicle
d. Sport Utility Vehicle

WWF stands for
a. We Won, F*ckers! 
b. World War Five
c. Wet With Fear
d. World Wrestling Federation

VD stands for
a. Vaginal Discomfort
b. Verbal Diarrhea
c. Venereal Disease
d. Vinegarette Dressing

STD stands for
a. Stinky Thong Disease
b. Sex Toy Deposits
c. Sexually Transmissible Disease
d. Safe Tongue Depth 

WYSIWYG stands for
a. Well You Started It, What’s Your Gripe?
b. While You Sing I’ll Whack Your Gonads
c. What You See Is What You Get
d. Why’d You Stop? It Was Yellow, Go!

VIP means
a. Vain Insignificant Person
b. Vomit In Public
c. Viewing Is Prohibited
d. Very Important Person

TKO stands for
a. Temporarily Killed Opponent
b. Testicles Kicked Off
c. Technical Knock-Out
d. They Keeled Over

ASAP stands for
a. Ask Some Asian Person
b. As Soon As Possible
c. After Somebody Asks Politely
d. Add Salt And Pepper

AKA stands for
a. Also Known As
b. And, Kinda, Actually
c. Alternate Kinky Appellation
d. Angry Kitchen Appliances

NFL stands for
a. Not For Ladies
b. National Football League
c. Naturally Full Lashes
d. Not Funny, Larry!

ATM stands for
a. Any Time Money
b. Automated Teller Machine
c. Actually, That’s Mine
d. Act Totally Mellow

BBC stands for
a. Bubble Butt Club
b. Bloody British are Crazy
c. Big Bang Conspiracy
d. British Broadcasting Company

UCLA stands for
a. United Coalition of Lard Asses
b. Used Condoms Lying Around
c. University of California, Los Angeles
d. Uppity College of Los Angeles

ESP stands for
a. Ever Since Puberty
b. Erect Swollen Penis
c. Extreme Super Powers
d. Extra Sensory Perception

BYOB stands for
a. Braid Your Own Butt-hair
b. Baby Yelling On Board
c. Bite Your Ostrich’s Beak
d. Bring Your Own Booze

MILF stands for
a. Mommy’s Ignorant Little Fool
b. Mother I’d Like to F*ck
c. Moron In Left Field
d. Man, I Love Food!

WTF stands for
a. Where’s The Fish?
b. Wait Till Friday
c. Wash That Finger!
d. What The F*ck?

SASE stands for
a. Something A**holes Send Easily
b. Self Addressed Stamped Envelope
c. Speak And Spell Expert
d. Strings Attached, Seek Escape!

FYI stands for
a. F*ck You Idiot!
b. Face Your Ignorance
c. For Your Information
d. Fifi! You Imbecile!

LOL stands for
a. Lordy Oh Lordy!
b. Laughing Out Loud
c. Leaking Oily Liquid
d. Lots Of Luck

PMS stands for
a. Pack My Suitcase
b. Pre-Menstrual Syndrome
c. Pain, Misery, Suffering
d. Please My Self

FUBAR stands for
a. Food Under the Bed Attracts Rats
b. Felt Up By A Robot
c. F*cked Up Beyond All Recognition
d. Fat and Ugly But an Awesome Rack

TLC stands for
a. Tender Loving Care
b. Total Loss of Control
c. Talk Like Caveman
d. Tastes Like Chicken

SOS stands for
a. Sell Our Stuff
b. Sink Or Swim
c. Save Our Ship
d. Sharks Ogling Survivors

OMG stands for
a. Ow! My Gonads
b. Out of My Gourd
c. Ooh! Man! Gee!
d. Oh My God

PDQ stands for
a. Pretty Darn Quick
b. Pigs Don’t Quack
c. Prisoners Dig Quietly
d. Powerful Deadly Queef

MSG stands for
a. Makes Sh*t Good
b. Magic Saliva Generator
c. Mono-Sodium Glutamate
d. Maximum Sized Glutes

CPR stands for
a. Code Purple! Run!
b. Cardio-Pulmonery Resuscitation
c. Count, Punch, Repeat
d. Choking Panic Response

CIA stands for
a. Central Ignorance Agency
b. Cops In Action
c. Center for Illegal Activities
d. Central Intelligence Agency

ETA stand for
a. Exact Time to Airport
b. Eager To Anxious
c. Estimated Time of Arrival
d. Ever Take an Airplane?

RBI stands for
a. Real Baseball Initials
b. Runner’s Balls Itch
c. Really Boring Information
d. Runs Batted In

BMW stands for
a. Blow My Wad
b. Big Money Waste
c. Bought My Wife
d. British Motor Works

HTML stands for
a. Hot Tamales & Meat Loaf
b. Hog Tied Monkey Love
c. Hard to Type Machine Lingo
d. HyperText Markup Language

DUI stands for
a. Drunk U Is!
b. Driving Utterly Inebriated
c. Drinkin’…Um…I dunno! Hahaha, whuzzit stands for Awsiffer?
d. Driving Under the Influence
e. Of WHUT? Hahahaha-hee-hee I’m all “of whut?” Hee-hee…Izzso funny hahaha! Hey leggo my arm!

Now simply check your answers to see how well you did. The correct answer is next to the right letter.
I know what you’re thinking “WTF? This is BS! Numbsain’s an SOB!” Which of course means:
Wow That’s Fun! This was Better than Sex! Numbsain’s a Smart Old Bloke!

Unknowable Trivia Quiz

Here's a simple test to see if you are a liar.

How does Stevie Wonder perceive the color blue?

1. As a gentle rocking motion from side to side.
2. As a cool wetness with a slightly minty freshness.
3. As the feeling of being an old man whose dog done up and left town with another man and his woman done got hit by a truck too.
4. As red.

What is the last thing to go through an insects mind when it smashes into a windshield?

1. Almost there, I can see it already. That great big flower. Hah, and they thought i couldn't make it, "it's dangerous, you'll get killed." Well I showed them all HahaaaAAAAAAK!!!!
2. I'm a happy little bum-ble-bee. I love the world and the world loves meEEEEK!!!
3. Nothing.
4. Its asshole

 How powerful is Oprah?

1. She is the most powerful entity in the universe, even more powerful than God but he still won’t be a guest on her show.
2. She controls the FCC, all the networks and she owns a small country whose borders are defined by the outermost extremes of her butt.
3. She can bend spoons with her mind and the hair on her cats back frizzes up when she stares at him but that’s about it.
4. She can bench press 208 pounds and she squats 450.

How old is Tom jones?

1. 475 years old and he’s from Transylvania.
2. 89 but he keeps himself looking young by making tea from all the panties thrown on stage.
3. The current Tom Jones is 26 years old. There have been 17 different Tom Joneses throughout his career.
4. Old enough to know better than to wear those pants.

 How many times a day does the average woman feel fat?

1. If she is married to a fat, horny man she may feel his fat up to sixteen times a day but she won't have to for much longer.
2. 400 to 600 times a day unless she lives in Los Angeles in which case she feels fat every waking moment of her life.
3. As often than the average man feels his penis.
4. No one knows but maybe if we shut up about it she'll get her fat ass out in the kitchen and make some dinner.

What does Britney Spears fantasize about?

1. Going on stage wearing clothes and singing well.
2. Getting arrested, thrown into a holding cell, stripped naked, hosed down and raped by 7 officers then left alone to escape and break into the storage room where they keep the confiscated drugs, doing them all, getting caught and the whole ordeal starts all over again.
3. Being Celine Dion.
4. Getting photographed sitting in a short skirt with no panties on and spreading her... oh, nevermind.

What would Abraham Lincoln say if he were alive today?

1. A crackhouse divided against itself cannot stand... and besides I aint scored in seven years, can I get some hos all up in this beeyotch.
2. How could this happen? This is a joke right? A penny? And they put Ben on the C-note? But why? I realize I’m no Adonis but... a penny?
3. Look I still think the concept could work as long as you keep the psycopaths out of the party.
4. ...But my favorite one is the Big & Nasty! Oh, sorry, yes I meant Big & Tasty and the restaurant is Scottish I believe... Can we go again?

What really happened with the whole Richard Gere thing?

1. Hi doc, I’ve got a pimple on my back. (Psst It’s Richard Gere, I heard him say he has a pimple on his ass) (What? Richard Gere has some purple on his ass?) (I just heard Richard Gere has a pickle up his ass)... [later that day] What I heard was, apparently Richard Gere stuck a gerbil up his ass.
2. “I need work, how about a publicity stunt? Anything, just to get people talking about me.” “Anything?” “I don’t care what it is, just get my name out there!” “O-o-k-a-a-ay...”
3. Damn! It won’t come out! Honey would you drive me to the doctor? No it’s not the cat again, I’m not stupid.
4. Look, My maid found a suppository I dropped in the bathroom. If she would do her damn job it wouldn’t have had fuzz all over it!

What does Donald Trump do when he’s all alone?

1. Dumps a few wheelbarrows full of money out on the bed and then jumps up and down in it yelling “I’m Rich! I’m Rich!”
2. He looks in the mirror and says: You like me? Do you know who I am? YOU DON’T!?
3. He wanders around his mansion looking for something interesting to play with, gets frustrated and ends up on the floor with GI Joe going; “Pkew! Pkew! A- a- a- a- a-! Gotchoo sucka!
4. Flips through a copy of Seventeen Magazine looking for his next wife to buy.

How many stars are their in the universe?

1. It is not known because of our inability to travel such vast distances but we do know that most of them live in Hollywood. Someday scientists hope to use technology to chart all of the stars and give them each a gold star on Hollywood's “Walk of Fame.”
2. It would be impossible to tell because the extents of the universe are infinite and as time distorts space many of the stars whose light we see now have burned out millions of years ago.
3. 75,000 total but by using mirrors and prerecorded video, it looks like alot more. Also they are constantly being recycled which is why there is no parking on your street between 8am and 10am Tuesdays.
4. It depends on what country, state and city you live in. In Los Angeles there are three to 7 stars in the sky on any given night. The rest are police helicopters. In the “Outback” of Australia, the Aborigines may enjoy as many as 4 billion discernible stars on the same night. Which doesn’t mean they’re so much better than us, they just get more stars. So what, we have more crack ho’s and some of them even twinkle.

Where is Waldo's penis?

1. Sticking out of a hairy patch just below his naval.
2. In Mrs. Waldos mouth. Waldo ran out the door a while ago.
3. In a safe deposit box in Switzerland
4. Waldo has no penis. His real name is Hillary Clinton

Who writes this crap?

1. Who the hell knows?
2. Who the hell cares?
3. What the hell is this stuff on my shoe?
4. I think he’s kind of cute and funny and he’s really good in bed! Tee-hee, giggle. Come back to bed Numbsain. You can play with your silly blog later. I want you NOW! Tee-hee... (GASP!) NUMBSAIN! Oh My! That’s HUGE! I’ve never seen such a big zit on your back. Can I pop it honey? Ple-e-ase?