Famous Cries and Announcer's Calls Quiz

It's quiz time again on Numbsain's Unwind which means it's time to get out the old brain and test your random access memory processing ability. Tricky part is for something to be famous it has to have been around for some time. And time is the memories worst enemy. The longer it's been kickin' around the archives the harder it is to call it up. Plus when you get old you start to lose your memory so that's...why...um, well...I...what was I just talking about? Nevermind, just take the quiz and if you get 10 out of 12 answers right, reward yourself with a bowl of tapioca pudding. Oh and this is a timed quiz. You have until December of 2018 to complete it.

Michael Buffer would like to.

1. Boxing Announcer Michael Buffer is known for rousing the crowd with:
a. LET’S WATCH THESE GUYS BEAT EACH OTHER U-U-U-U-U-UP!
b. LET’S GET SWEATY AND MA-A-A-A-A-AD!
c. LET’S GET COZY AND SNUGGL-L-L-L-LE!
d. LET’S GET READY TO RUMBL-L-L-L-LE!
 
2. Ed McMahon used to start the Tonight Show by saying:
a. Whe-e-e-e-e-ere’s Waldo?
b. He-e-e-e-e-e-ere’s Johnny!
c. Who-o-o-o-o-o-o Farted?
d. No-o-o-o-o-o-o Peekin’!

3. Don Pardo used to announce Lorne Michaels comedy show:
a. LOOK! UP IN THE SKY! IT’S A BLIMP! NO, IT’S ED McMAHON...
b. LIVE! FROM LEBANON! IT’S LULEH KABOB NIGHT!
c. LIVE! FROM NEW YORK! IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!
d. HELP! MY TESTICLES ARE ON FIRE!

4. Bill Cullen summoned contestants on “The Price Is Right” by saying:
a. Don’t be shy, we won’t hurtcha…much!
b. Come on down!
c. Get your ass down here, beeeyotch!
d. Let’s go, let’s go, we haven’t got all day!

5. Tony the Tiger says (about Sugar Frosted Flakes):
a. The-e-e-e-e-ey SUCK!
b. The-e-e-e-ey’re better than starving to death!
c. The-e-e-e-ey’re CARDBOARD!
d. The-e-e-e-ey’re GREAT!

6. At the beginning of the Olympics they say:
a. ALLOW THE FESTIVITIES TO COMMENCE!
b. LET THE YOUTH BE EXPLOITED FOR OUR NATIONALISTIC PRIDE!
c. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
d. SMOKE ‘EM IF YA GOT ‘EM!

7. Soccer announcer Andres Cantor shouts:
a. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!
b. YOU IDIOT! ARE YOU BLIND?
c. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
d. OH MY FRIKKEN GOD!

8. After three strikes the umpire says to the batter:
a. YOU’RE FIRED!
b. YOU’RE HISTORY, PAL!
c. Ooooh you missed again! Tell ya what, try choking up on the bat a little and take a deep breath…Go-o-o-od. Now scratch your balls, no-no-no, gently, like this…There ya go. Feel good? Now I want you to focus on the- huh? Oh don’t worry about them, they can wait…
d. YOU’RE OUT

9. In a 1987 movie, Robin Williams, as a whacky American DJ stationed in Saigon during wartime, said:
a. Okay whoever’s dead raise your hand…Nobody? See, war’s not so bad!
b. Is everybody happy? Good! Now go kill each other!
c. He shoots…He scores!
d. Good Morning Vietnam!

Ali wants Cosell to pay.

10. In a George Forman vs. Joe Frazier fight Howard Cosell shouted:
a. DON’T THEY MAKE A LOVELY COUPLE?
b. DOWN GOES FRAZIER! DOWN GOES FRAZIER! DOWN GOES FRAZIER!
c. OOOOH! RIGHT IN THE KISSER! THAT’S GOTTA HURT!
d. FAGS!

11. Before a daring leap to escape the cavalry an Apache leader shouted his name:
a. OLEE-OLEE-OXEN-FREE!
b. GERITOL!
c. CHEIF BIGGUM DICKUM!
d. GERONIMO!

12. In Lone Ranger movies Lone shouted:
a. YEE HAH MOLYBDENUM!
b. RIN TIN TIN!
c. HI HO SILVER!
d. OI VEY ANODIZED ALUMINUM!

Answers: 1=d, 2=b, 3=c, 4=b, 5=d, 6=c, 7=a, 8=d, 9=d, 10=b, 11=d, 12=c

By Numbsain…He-e-e-e-e-e’s HIM!

Awesome Acronyms Quiz

 How well do you know your Acronyms? FYI most people who MSM a lot will ace this test PDQ and, BTW, being ADD doesn’t mean you can’t finish it ASAP. So before you start shouting OMG, try it. You may be a VIP! LOL!

SPCA stands for
a. Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
b. Society for the Promotion of Cruelty to Animals
c. Spanking Place for Caged Animals
d. Society for Pet Cruelty Appreciation

FCC stands for
a. Freshly Chopped Caterpillars
b. Federal Communications Commission
c. Federal Cupcake Commission
d. Free Cocaine Club

SUV stands for
a. Sexy Underwear Violation
b. Stuck Up Virgin
c. Sudden Urge Vehicle
d. Sport Utility Vehicle

WWF stands for
a. We Won, F*ckers! 
b. World War Five
c. Wet With Fear
d. World Wrestling Federation

VD stands for
a. Vaginal Discomfort
b. Verbal Diarrhea
c. Venereal Disease
d. Vinegarette Dressing

STD stands for
a. Stinky Thong Disease
b. Sex Toy Deposits
c. Sexually Transmissible Disease
d. Safe Tongue Depth 

WYSIWYG stands for
a. Well You Started It, What’s Your Gripe?
b. While You Sing I’ll Whack Your Gonads
c. What You See Is What You Get
d. Why’d You Stop? It Was Yellow, Go!

VIP means
a. Vain Insignificant Person
b. Vomit In Public
c. Viewing Is Prohibited
d. Very Important Person

TKO stands for
a. Temporarily Killed Opponent
b. Testicles Kicked Off
c. Technical Knock-Out
d. They Keeled Over

ASAP stands for
a. Ask Some Asian Person
b. As Soon As Possible
c. After Somebody Asks Politely
d. Add Salt And Pepper

AKA stands for
a. Also Known As
b. And, Kinda, Actually
c. Alternate Kinky Appellation
d. Angry Kitchen Appliances

NFL stands for
a. Not For Ladies
b. National Football League
c. Naturally Full Lashes
d. Not Funny, Larry!

ATM stands for
a. Any Time Money
b. Automated Teller Machine
c. Actually, That’s Mine
d. Act Totally Mellow

BBC stands for
a. Bubble Butt Club
b. Bloody British are Crazy
c. Big Bang Conspiracy
d. British Broadcasting Company

UCLA stands for
a. United Coalition of Lard Asses
b. Used Condoms Lying Around
c. University of California, Los Angeles
d. Uppity College of Los Angeles

ESP stands for
a. Ever Since Puberty
b. Erect Swollen Penis
c. Extreme Super Powers
d. Extra Sensory Perception

BYOB stands for
a. Braid Your Own Butt-hair
b. Baby Yelling On Board
c. Bite Your Ostrich’s Beak
d. Bring Your Own Booze

MILF stands for
a. Mommy’s Ignorant Little Fool
b. Mother I’d Like to F*ck
c. Moron In Left Field
d. Man, I Love Food!

WTF stands for
a. Where’s The Fish?
b. Wait Till Friday
c. Wash That Finger!
d. What The F*ck?

SASE stands for
a. Something A**holes Send Easily
b. Self Addressed Stamped Envelope
c. Speak And Spell Expert
d. Strings Attached, Seek Escape!

FYI stands for
a. F*ck You Idiot!
b. Face Your Ignorance
c. For Your Information
d. Fifi! You Imbecile!

LOL stands for
a. Lordy Oh Lordy!
b. Laughing Out Loud
c. Leaking Oily Liquid
d. Lots Of Luck

PMS stands for
a. Pack My Suitcase
b. Pre-Menstrual Syndrome
c. Pain, Misery, Suffering
d. Please My Self

FUBAR stands for
a. Food Under the Bed Attracts Rats
b. Felt Up By A Robot
c. F*cked Up Beyond All Recognition
d. Fat and Ugly But an Awesome Rack

TLC stands for
a. Tender Loving Care
b. Total Loss of Control
c. Talk Like Caveman
d. Tastes Like Chicken

SOS stands for
a. Sell Our Stuff
b. Sink Or Swim
c. Save Our Ship
d. Sharks Ogling Survivors

OMG stands for
a. Ow! My Gonads
b. Out of My Gourd
c. Ooh! Man! Gee!
d. Oh My God

PDQ stands for
a. Pretty Darn Quick
b. Pigs Don’t Quack
c. Prisoners Dig Quietly
d. Powerful Deadly Queef

MSG stands for
a. Makes Sh*t Good
b. Magic Saliva Generator
c. Mono-Sodium Glutamate
d. Maximum Sized Glutes

CPR stands for
a. Code Purple! Run!
b. Cardio-Pulmonery Resuscitation
c. Count, Punch, Repeat
d. Choking Panic Response

CIA stands for
a. Central Ignorance Agency
b. Cops In Action
c. Center for Illegal Activities
d. Central Intelligence Agency

ETA stand for
a. Exact Time to Airport
b. Eager To Anxious
c. Estimated Time of Arrival
d. Ever Take an Airplane?

RBI stands for
a. Real Baseball Initials
b. Runner’s Balls Itch
c. Really Boring Information
d. Runs Batted In

BMW stands for
a. Blow My Wad
b. Big Money Waste
c. Bought My Wife
d. British Motor Works

HTML stands for
a. Hot Tamales & Meat Loaf
b. Hog Tied Monkey Love
c. Hard to Type Machine Lingo
d. HyperText Markup Language

DUI stands for
a. Drunk U Is!
b. Driving Utterly Inebriated
c. Drinkin’…Um…I dunno! Hahaha, whuzzit stands for Awsiffer?
d. Driving Under the Influence
e. Of WHUT? Hahahaha-hee-hee I’m all “of whut?” Hee-hee…Izzso funny hahaha! Hey leggo my arm!

Now simply check your answers to see how well you did. The correct answer is next to the right letter.
I know what you’re thinking “WTF? This is BS! Numbsain’s an SOB!” Which of course means:
Wow That’s Fun! This was Better than Sex! Numbsain’s a Smart Old Bloke!

Famous Quotes Quiz

Here's a multiple choice quiz to see how well you remember unimportant things famous people said. If you remember every one of these quotes correctly, chances are you've forgotten something important. Like how many children you have. To check your score, you'll find the correct number to the left of the right quote. Good luck!

-by numbsain... Well, do ya punk?!

Charlton Heston said:
1. SOYLENT GREEN HAS TRANSFAT!!!
2. SOY BEANS ARE EVIL!!
3. COLLARD GREENS EAT PEOPLE!!!
4. SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!

Charlton Heston said:
1. Get your greedy hands off my butt you damn dirty ape!
2. Take your filthy sandwiches and never come back Mildred!
3. Get your filthy paws off me you damn dirty ape!
4. Unhand me you big hairy gorilla!

Jack Nicholson said:
1. The fruit?! You can't HAVE all the fruit!
2. Vermouth?! You can't be all out of vermouth!
3. The flute?! You call that playing the flute?
4. The truth?! You can't handle the truth!

Jack Nicholson said:
1. Yeah, hold my chicklets between yer tits!
2. Yeah, hold the chicken between your knees!
3. You like chicken? Wait until you get a load of these!
4. Just gimme the flapjacks and there better be a smiley face on it!

Sean Connery said:
1. Bond, Hymie Bond.
2. Bond, James Bond.
3. Blond, dumb Blond.
4. Danger is my middle name, Melvin's my game.

Clark Gable said:
1. Frankie my dear, I hate River Dance.
2. Franklin you queer, I'm not wearing pants.
3. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
4. Frappuccino my dear? I don't like the damn things.

Judy Garland said:
1. Rhinos and peacocks and yaks, how cool!
2. Herpes and syphilis and crabs, oh shit!
3. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!
4. Leather and handcuffs and whips, oh boy!

Judy Garland said:
1. Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
2. Frankly Toto, I don't give a damn if we're in Kansas anymore.
3. Toto, get your filthy paws off me you damn dirty dog!
4. Tattoo, show our guests to their cabins.

Rodney King said:
1. Can't we all just get a bunch of pizzas and pig out?
2. I have a dream...
3. Can't you kids just play nice?
4. Can't we all just get along?

Jackie Gleason said:
1. One of these days Alice, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you!
2. One of these days Alice, I'm gonna learn to act!
3. One of these days Alice, BOINK! Right in the kiester!
4. One of these days Alice, POW! Right in the kisser!

Tom Hanks said:
1. Whitney Houston, you have a drug problem.
2. Houston, somethin' jumped up and bit me!
3. One of these day's Houston... Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon.
4. Houston, we have a problem.

Dezi Arnaz said:
1. We'll still be here: a starving Mexican and a half eaten brunette.
2. We'll still be here: a stunning blonde and a damn dirty ape.
3. We'll still be here: a starving Cuban and a dirty brunette.
4. We'll still be here; a lousy actor and a dirty ho.

James Earl Jones said;
1. Luke, I'm your mother.
2. Look, up in the sky...
3. Luke, I don't give a damn.
4. Luke I'm your father.

Lassie said:
1. Meo-o-o-w purr purr.
2. Bark! ...Bark-Bark!
3. Cock-a-doodle-doo-o-o!
4. I'm not an animal, I'm a human being!

Lon Chaney Jr. said:
1. Mortuary! Mortuary!
2. Sanitary! Sanitary!
3. Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
4. Why don't you come up and see me some time?

Robert DeNiro said:
1. I coulda been a contender.
2. I coulda had a V8.
3. I coulda been a ballerina.
4. Adri-i-a-a-a-an!

Robert DeNiro said:
1. Are we talking?
2. Are you talking to me?
3. Am I talking to you? I don't think so.
4. Can we talk?

James Dean said:
1. You're tearing me a new asshole!
2. You're tearing my new shirt!
3. You're ripping me up into teensy weensy pieces!
4. You're tearing me apart!

Clint Eastwood said:
1. Ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya punk?!
2. Are you feelin' lucky? GIT YER HANDS OFF MY DOG! C'mere lucky, did he hurt you boy?
3. Ask yourself one question: "Do I feel hungry? Well, you wanna go grab a bite?
4. Go ahead PUNK! Make me queen for a day ...

Marlon Brando said:
1. I'll make him an omelette he can't digest.
2. I'll give him a hickey he can't explain.
3. I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.
4. I'll make him an offer, and if he refuses, he can keep his lousy candy bar wrapper!

Dustin Hoffman said:
1. I'm pimpin' here!
2. I'm walkin' here!
3. I'm ad libbin' here!
4. Hey you just ran over my foot!

Humphrey Bogart said:
1. Here's looking at you kid.
2. He was looking at me, not you, kid.
3. He looks like your kid.
4. Here's how you look kid, pretty stupid eh?

Greta Garbo said:
1. I vant to suck your blood.
2. I vant to eat a vorm.
3. I vant to be alone.
4. I vish I vas an Oscar Meyer Veiner.

Sylvester Stallone said:
1. I'm your worst nightmare.
2. I'm the worst actor.
3. I'm your fairy godmother .
4. I'm a waste of toilet paper.

Arnold Schwarzenegger said:
1. Hail Hitler, baby.
2. Hasta la vista, baby.
3. Yo quiero taco bell, baby.
4. Mareeeaaa heff yoo seen my steroids, baby? I cen't moof my arms agehn.

Meryl Streep said:
1. A dingo stole my baby.
2. A baby ate my dingo.
3. A bimbo stole my baby.
4. D. I. N.G.O. and din-go was his name-o.

Adam West said:
1. To the dressing room, Robin.
2. To the bat cave, Robin.
3. Now off to bed with you Robin.
4. Let's go spelunking Robin.

Patrick Stewart said:
1. Make it a double number one.
2. Make it so number one.
3. Cause it to happen now number one.
4. I've got to go number one, maybe number two as well.

James Cagney said:
1. You dirty old man...
2. You musky hillbilly...
3. You dirty rat...
4. You little dickens...

William Shatner said:
1. Muscles, do something...
2. Bones, do something...
3. Pssst hey Bones (wink wink), wanna, y'know, DO something...
4. Boner! Don't quit on me now! do something!

Popeye said:
1. Blow my brains out Olive!
2. Olive, you really blow my mind girlfriend!
3. Blow me down!
4. Go blow it out your ass!

Gary Coleman said:
1. Just what are you insinuating Willis?
2. One of these days Willis, BANG! ZOOM! To the mezzanine!
3. Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?
4. Ga-a-arsh Wilbur!

Common Knowledge Trivia Quiz

Test Your Knowledge of American Culture, Consumer Products, Medical Terms and Everything Else any Idiot Knows

by numbsain

Which of these is not a breakfast cereal:
1. Post Sugar Crisp
2. Kellogg's Corn Flakes
3. Hall and Oates
4. Fruity Pebbles

Which of these is not a wine:
1. Cabernet Sauvignon
2. Pinot Noir
3. Hannibal Lecter
4. Merlot

Which of these is not a car:
1. Pontiac Lemans
2. Buick Skylark
3. Daewoo Leganza
4. Carmen Electra

Which of these is not a dog breed:
1. Doberman Pincher
2. Irish Setter
3. Jack Russel Terrier
4. Luke Skywalker

Which of these is not a personality disorder:
1. Manic Depressive
2. Passive Aggression
3. Wishful Thinking
4. Obsessive Compulsive

Which of these is not a soft drink:
1. Coca Cola
2. Sprite
3. Dr Jeckle
4. Fanta

Which of these is not a venereal disease:
1. Gonorrhea
2. Hepatitis B
3. Syphilis
4. Rabies

Which one of these does not play the blues:
1. T-Bone Walker
2. Blind Lemon Jefferson
3. Johnny Cat
4. Jimmy Witherspoon

Which of these is not a breath mint:
1. Tic Tacs
2. Hemorrhoids
2. Altoids
3. Breathsavers

Which of these is not a dinosaur:
1. Stegosaurus
2. Diplodicus
3. Thesaurus
4. Tyrannosaurus Rex

Which of these is not a musical instrument:
1. Guitar
2. Clarinet
3. Scrotum
4. Trumpet

Which of these is not a detergent brand:
1. All
2. Cheer
3. Tide
4. Flan

Which of these is not a insect:
1. Beetle
2. Wasp
3. Cricket
4. Picachu

Which of these is not a ice cream flavor:
1. Rocky Road
2. French Vanilla
4. Carpal Tunnel
5. Pecan Praline

Which of these is not a board game:
1. Monopoly
2. Scrabble
3. Clitoris
4. Clue

Which of these is not a pain killer:
1. Vicadin
2. Morphine
3. Romulin
4. Valium

Which of these is not a rapper:
1. Snoop Dogg
2. Fitty Cent
3. Macaroni Head
4. Eminem

Which of these is not a candy bar:
1. Tweakers
2. Almond Joy
3. Snickers
4. Three Musketeers

Which of these is not a drink:
1. Vodka Tonic
2. Martini
3. Margarita
4. Glib Midget

Which of these is not a cold cut:
1. Bologna
2. Salami
3. Liverwurst
4. Parcheesi

Which of these is not a hotel:

1. Holiday Inn

2. Bed Wetter

3. Marriott

4. Hilton

Which of these is not a children's show:

1. Barney

2. Animaniacs

3. Smurfs

4. Muff Divers

Which of these is not a desert:
1. Mojave
2. Serengeti
3. Sahara
4. Verizon

Which of these is not a fragrance:

1. Chanel No. 5

2. Obsession

3. Vagina

4. Juicy Couture

Which of these is not an animal:
1. Hippopotamus
2. Giraffe
3. Leopard
4. Elephant Man

Which of these is not a cheese:

1. Roquefort

2. Camembert

3. Birkenstock

4. Meunster

Which of these is not a feminine hygiene product :

1. Vagisil

2. Monostat

3. Summers Eve

4. Stank-Be-Gone

Which of these is not a toy manufacturer:

1. Milton Bradley

2. Mattel

3. Smith & Wesson

4. Remco

Which of these is not an actor:

1. Justin Timberlake

2. Vin Deisel

3. George Clooney

4. Rubber Grommet

Which of these is not an infirmity:

1. Pinkeye

2. Lockjaw

3. Strepthroat

4. Facebook

Which of these is not a fish:
1. Albacore Tuna
2. Rainbow Trout
3. Dildo
4. Red Snapper 

 

Which of these is not a toothache remedy:

1. Lidocain

2. Benzocaine

3. Novacaine

4. Numbsain

 

For correct answers ask anyone who is not a complete moron.

Aged Adage Aptitude Test

by numbsain

Have you ever noticed how elders don't really bother to talk about things anymore? They just have those old sayings, gems of wisdom and tidbits of advice that sum up every situation. Here's a multiple choice quiz to see if you were really listening or were they casting pearls before swine.

You can't keep a good man...
a. wrapped in plastic in the freezer
b. From wearing your lingerie
c. Fresh
d. down

Necessity is the mother of...
a. evil
b. Hercules
c. all battles
d. invention

You can't make a silk purse...
a. out of a monkeys scrotum
b. out of a sows ear
c. for a dead nurse
d. without breaking a few worms

Many a truth...
a. is said in jest
b. is said at gun point
c. is said with a flourish and a wink
d. is oft' uncouth

The grass is always greener...
a. if you water it
b. But your ass needs special cleaner
c. on the other side of the fence
d. in Kentucky in the spring

Father knows..
a. bourbon
b. best
c. squat
d. we hate him

You can take the kid out of the country...
a. but you can't leave him in Mexico
b. but you can't take the country out of the kid
c. but you can't launch him into space
d. But you can't keep running forever

Children should be seen...
a. and not run over
b. within the confines of a cell
c. and not heard
d. and not smelled

All work and no play makes Jack...
a. $$$RICH$$$
b. a dull boy
c. a valuable employee
d. have a midlife crisis at 25

Don't count your chickens...
a. out loud, others are trying to count too
b. before they're hatched
c. til you finish your vegetables
d. friends, count his enemies

A cat has nine...
a. lives
b. toes
c. ways to recline
d. thoughts a day

You can't teach an old dog...
a. algebra
b. to play dead, it's tempting fate
c. new tricks
d. to walk himself

It's better to have loved and lost...
a. all your teeth than date Lorena Bobbit
b. after you've brushed and flossed
c. count than to only love once
d. than never to have loved at all

The best things in life are...
a. taken
b. free
c. sex, drugs and rock and roll
d. really great

A bird in the hand..
a. is worth two in the bush
b. is usually terrified and will bite you
c. is the best way to deal with rude drivers
d. feels really weird

Time flies when you’re...
a. bored and want to see how fast they can go
b. old
c. having fun
d. going 299,792,458 meters per second

When the going gets tough...
a. the going gets rough
b. the meat gets tender
c. the tough strut their stuff
d. the tough get going

You can lead a horse to water...
a. but you can't lead a fish to hay
b. but you can't give him a bubble bath
c. by giving him clear written directions
d. but you can't make him drink

Winners never quit...
a. so don't try to beat them
b. and quitters never win
c. that's why there are so few of them left alive
d. and witters never quin

Beauty is only...
a. for women
b. until you get old, wrinkly, and saggy
c. skin deep
d. a matter of the right surgeon

Never let them see you...
a. pick your nose and wipe it under the table
b. sweat
c. naked
d. steal cash from your mom's purse

Monkey see...
a. monkey do
b. see? look at the monkey! Isn't he funny
c. all
d. you, monkey kill you

Curiosity killed...
a.  the surprise
b. the cat
c. my high
d. again

A watched pot...
a. never grows old
b. head always gets caught
c. Is a happy pot
d. never boils

People who live in glass houses...
a. are exhibitionists
b. shouldn't throw stones
c. are in the clear
d. don't need windows

You can't squeeze blood out of...
a. a hamster
b. a dead hemophiliac
c. a turnip
d. kosher meat

Don't throw good money...
a. in the toilet
b. after bad
c. at beggars
d. out with the bath water

He who laughs last...
a. cries first
b. laughs best
c. is the stupidest
d. voted for Numbsain's Unwind

The letter of the right answer for each is indicated to the left of the correct choice.

by numbsain