The Chinese tradition of ending each meal with a cookie containing a fortune dates back to prehistoric times before the development of written language. Cookies made of mashed midget pulp were fitted with a tiny device upon which a short rap style song was recorded and activated by biting the cookie. Fortunes usually consisted of buttering up the guest about what a playa pimp he is. Or for the women it was about how fine her booty was and how lucky she was to live to be gang raped another day. These fortunes were believed to bring good luck to the person if they survived the meal which usually consisted of bamboo shoots and uncooked Rhamphorynchus meat marinated in a fermented soy bean sauce made by the Kikkoman of the tribe.
Later, with the development of written language the fortunes were simply typeset in arial bold on a piece of paper and threaded into the cookie which was made from whole grain lizard flour and high fructose corn syrup. The tradition grew in popularity as meals became increasingly survivable. But the fortunes became rude and insulting. Here are some examples.
Often fights would break out after the fortune reading ceremony and all the dinner guests would be killed with butter knives and forks which were traditionally inserted into the jugular vein. Today in the civilized world fortune cookies are viewed as entertainment and rarely result in violence or death. However they are usually tasteless and inedible due to a shortage of fresh lizard meal.
by Numbsain...Confucius say, "wtf?"
