—editorial by Dr Numbsain
Two fire fighters caught in an in-flight fire fight
on flight five bound for Fiji were fired last night.
The two fled the bloodshed to fight fire instead
which flared up in mid air at five thirty, they said.
"It's really not fair that they fired the pair,"
said Ms. Bear, Flight Commissioner Cheif of O'Hare.
"To fight fire, not fire fight was the fire fighters right,
since they paid their air fare and were there fair and square."
Blair McLair and Clyde Kildare were quite unaware
that a fire fight would have flared up way up there.
And because they were scared, they were quite unprepared.
And they felt that their skills were more needed elsewhere.
The two knew they were doomed if the fire consumed
the flight crew, so they did the right thing, they assumed.
The fire fighters did what they knew they had to do.
I'd have done the same thing had I been in their shoe.
The man who began the fire fight had a plan
which had something to do with smuggling contraband:
First to skyjack the plane and then fly back to spain
bringing back a napsack jam packed with crack cocaine.
To fire fight with him they should not have been required.
That's why these two fire fighters should not have been fired.
************************************
THE EYEWITLESS NEWS TOP STORIES
************************************
DOUBLE HIT AND RUN
Two drivers simultaneously hit each other and ran.
Police investigating the case were quoted as saying:
"That's fine."
SUICIDE VICTIM CONFESSES TO CRIME, DIES
Police apprehended a man suspected of suicide. After a lengthy interrogation the suspect/victim finally confessed to the crime and then died. Police Chief Billy Klubb said, "We can't have people living in denial."
MINOR MISCONDUCT FOUND IN MAJOR INVESTIGATION
An investigation revealed that an army Major committed acts of misconduct with a minor. Investigators said it was nothing that major (wouldn't have done to any minor)
POLICE QUESTION MAN KILLED BY SUSPECT
A "question man" for the police was killed after asking a suspect too many questions. "This is the third question man we've lost this month which raises some serious questions that no one is willing to ask." But the question man's questionable questioning tactics are unquestionably brought into question. Reporters had no further questions.
HIT AND RUN VICTIM ADMITS TO HIT AND RUN
A hit and run victim who came forth as the prime suspect in the case
pled guilty to committing the hit and run himself. "It suddenly hit me that I had to stop running".
WEATHER FORECAST
Partly mostly with a chance of maybe clearing throughout. Possible chance of a fairly good likelihood conditions may continue indefinitely depending on variables.
No signs of any indications at present but meteorologists are still expecting to stay on alert for the unlikely eventuality that there may be no cause for concern.
SPORTS
Men in brightly colored costumes banged into each other and some fell down. Someone probably won, certainly everyone involved was paid way too much money. Injuries may have occured at some point to someone but that's to be expected when there's this much money involved.
HONEST ASTROLOGY
Mercury went retrograde so don't try to do anything at all.
The moon went void of course, it always does.
Mars saw venus rising in Uranus and that wasn't pretty.
Anyone who is a Libra can kiss their sorry ass goodbye.
It's not looking too good for Gemini and Pisces either, lot of suffering and hardship there.
Tauruses can relax for a minute but all the other signs are pretty much screwed.
This Eyewitless News Flinch has been presented by Numbsain.
Sponsored by Numbsain Inc. "Smart people doing dumb things to make dumb people feel smart!"
and by Atchoo Inc. "Atchoo... Bless you!"
and by GEZUNTIGHT LTD. "The Tightest Gezuns are made by Gezuntight"
and by Oops I Farted! "What's that smell?—Oops I Farted!"
and by the Law Offices of Chewen, Chewen, Chewen & Gulp "Aaah-torneys at Law"
Two fire fighters caught in an in-flight fire fight
on flight five bound for Fiji were fired last night.
The two fled the bloodshed to fight fire instead
which flared up in mid air at five thirty, they said.
"It's really not fair that they fired the pair,"
said Ms. Bear, Flight Commissioner Cheif of O'Hare.
"To fight fire, not fire fight was the fire fighters right,
since they paid their air fare and were there fair and square."
Blair McLair and Clyde Kildare were quite unaware
that a fire fight would have flared up way up there.
And because they were scared, they were quite unprepared.
And they felt that their skills were more needed elsewhere.
The two knew they were doomed if the fire consumed
the flight crew, so they did the right thing, they assumed.
The fire fighters did what they knew they had to do.
I'd have done the same thing had I been in their shoe.
The man who began the fire fight had a plan
which had something to do with smuggling contraband:
First to skyjack the plane and then fly back to spain
bringing back a napsack jam packed with crack cocaine.
To fire fight with him they should not have been required.
That's why these two fire fighters should not have been fired.
************************************
THE EYEWITLESS NEWS TOP STORIES
************************************
DOUBLE HIT AND RUN
Two drivers simultaneously hit each other and ran.
Police investigating the case were quoted as saying:
"That's fine."
SUICIDE VICTIM CONFESSES TO CRIME, DIES
Police apprehended a man suspected of suicide. After a lengthy interrogation the suspect/victim finally confessed to the crime and then died. Police Chief Billy Klubb said, "We can't have people living in denial."
MINOR MISCONDUCT FOUND IN MAJOR INVESTIGATION
An investigation revealed that an army Major committed acts of misconduct with a minor. Investigators said it was nothing that major (wouldn't have done to any minor)
POLICE QUESTION MAN KILLED BY SUSPECT
A "question man" for the police was killed after asking a suspect too many questions. "This is the third question man we've lost this month which raises some serious questions that no one is willing to ask." But the question man's questionable questioning tactics are unquestionably brought into question. Reporters had no further questions.
HIT AND RUN VICTIM ADMITS TO HIT AND RUN
A hit and run victim who came forth as the prime suspect in the case
pled guilty to committing the hit and run himself. "It suddenly hit me that I had to stop running".
WEATHER FORECAST
Partly mostly with a chance of maybe clearing throughout. Possible chance of a fairly good likelihood conditions may continue indefinitely depending on variables.
No signs of any indications at present but meteorologists are still expecting to stay on alert for the unlikely eventuality that there may be no cause for concern.
SPORTS
Men in brightly colored costumes banged into each other and some fell down. Someone probably won, certainly everyone involved was paid way too much money. Injuries may have occured at some point to someone but that's to be expected when there's this much money involved.
HONEST ASTROLOGY
Mercury went retrograde so don't try to do anything at all.
The moon went void of course, it always does.
Mars saw venus rising in Uranus and that wasn't pretty.
Anyone who is a Libra can kiss their sorry ass goodbye.
It's not looking too good for Gemini and Pisces either, lot of suffering and hardship there.
Tauruses can relax for a minute but all the other signs are pretty much screwed.
This Eyewitless News Flinch has been presented by Numbsain.
Sponsored by Numbsain Inc. "Smart people doing dumb things to make dumb people feel smart!"
and by Atchoo Inc. "Atchoo... Bless you!"
and by GEZUNTIGHT LTD. "The Tightest Gezuns are made by Gezuntight"
and by Oops I Farted! "What's that smell?—Oops I Farted!"
and by the Law Offices of Chewen, Chewen, Chewen & Gulp "Aaah-torneys at Law"
