The Adventures of
TAMPAX & MORON
Light beings of the distant futue
Episode 3—Tampax & Moron Go Corporeal
T: Well, here we are Moron... Highly evolved light beings ... pure intellect... completely free of emotion...
M: That we are, Tampax, that we are.
T: ...Our existence is unbelievably boring, Moron.
M: That it is, Tampax, that it is
T: I have been wondering, Moron...
M: Wondering is a futile activity... but I suppose, what else have you got to do.
T: What is it like to be corporeal, to have emotions, to...
M: Procreate?
T: What do you mean? What is Procreate?
M: Well Tampax, long, long ago, in a time land forgot, life forms merged their physical bodies in order to procreate, conceive and bear offspring. When they did, they would experience a physical reward.
T: Intriguing! ...But I doubt that such a reward would affect me.
M: I'm sure it would not.
T: ...Why not, Moron?
M: Because we are far too advanced for such base pursuits.
T: We are not THAT advanced.... But I suppose you are right. It would be so... base.
M: Oh yes, terribly base.
T: (sigh)
M: Indeed.
T: Moron, I want to be corporeal! Just once! Can we Moron? Please?
M: Hmm, it would broaden our scope of understanding.
T: We must choose hosts!
M: I have already chosen them.
T: You have?!
M: Yes, I anticipated this and already arranged it. For your host I have chosen a female designated "Angelina Jolie" and for myself, I chose a perfect specimen, one that was both intelligent and physically endowed so that I may experience corporeality to its fullest. It is the one called Numbsain.
T: Wait a nanosecond Moron, I will be Angelina Jolie and you will be Numbsain? That is very humorous. Why would Angelina Jolie procreate with Numbsain? She is WAY out of his league.
M: Look, do you want to do this or not Tampax?
T: YES!
M: All right then, let us commence.
(A FEW BRIEF FLASHES OF LIGHT LATER)
M: How do you "feel" Tampax?
T: Oh my! This is a most unusual Moron! I can feel the urges you spoke of...
M: Uh... Tampax? Why are you grinding your center portion into mine? Are you trying to occupy the same physical space as me?
T: I do not know Moron, It is an instinctive reflex. I will try to control it...
M: No! That is okay Tampax. You may continue if it is, as you say, "an instinctive reflex." You should see yourself though, Tampax. Your appearance seems to reveal your thoughts. Here, look into this reflective surface.
T: That is me?! How shocking! Those facial expressions are so embarrassing.
M: How ironic, you were never this turned on as a light being.
T: I am not "turned on," Moron! You speak of me as if I were a tawdry "red" light of Earth's "Amsterdam" region or a "psychodelicate" "black" light of Earth's "hippy" era.
M: I see you have studied these creatures quite extensively. And the term is "psychodelic."
T: Well you seem to be well versed yourself Moron. In any case, I do not wish to endure any more of this humiliation. Remove me from this corporeal host at once.
M: Oh, all right.
(A FEW BRIEF FLASHES OF LIGHT LATER)
M: Well, that was VERY intriguing, did you not think so, Tampax? Especially the part when you...
T: I do not wish to discuss it Moron!
(To be continued)
No comments:
Post a Comment